okay so i guess its been tooo long because word press gently reminded me not to create another blog if ive abandoned one for too long. thats okay because they are in fact correct. so i need to start blogging like a fool! i wonder if i can do this long term or should just give up the ghost! nah i will continue onward as usual
so i am freezing in here at my second story gheto digs. It is cold in ohio tonight. i dont like the way this type looks but have discovered no place to change it. I am onto new and depressing adventures for 2012. I have quit my job of 17 years. I have enrolled in COLLEGE. yes kiddies college. not just any school either i am enrolled in a two year program of art and art management! yikes please let this happen please let this happen. I discovered that i have so few dreams left that this ones really tricky and important. i will be attending a two year program at a realtivly small school. I find that kind of exciting. due to all kinds of drama in my personal life i am getting a very slow start. i am really behind in math, kinda behind in ethics, a day behind in my studio class(glass), and completly caught up in my oil painting class. I am not well liked by this one cute little 20 something star of the world girly in oil painting, and she remarkably let it be known. Every one else at least minds the manners of civilized life. I dont quite understand this girl. Some people just will never like you, that is a fact of life. I suspect she might fear i will pull attention from her because sh is kind of a darling girl. She neednt worry the world of this college setting is large enough to accomodate both of us. it uldnt matter to me at all except she is rude yet will not actually address me face t face. It is all kind of done under breath yet loud enough to be heard by all except the woman with headphones on. hummm. You see i just try to be a friend to the world in my public life so of course it is uncomfortable to be me in this situation. I have a tendency to want to be liked, i have a tendency to feel the need to reach out stronger if i become aware that someone is not on board with being civil. But for the sake of it all of course and because she is not important in my life will let the snarky little comments go. Some people will never understand who i am and dislike me because of it, others will just not even try and dislike me. It is not the end of my life either way.. If they only knew how many more important things there are perhaps they would just live and let live.
I am a dinosaur for the most part any way. I am floundering to get footing under me in all areas. as a mother, as a daughter, as a student…if i can get past next week and manage to still be there i will feel as if i have climbed the first foot hill to a huge mountian range. Just on the other side of these mountians is my new and improved life. I hope…we’ll see..time will tell . ah come on it’ll be fun to watch the falls and fumbles..just wait and see.
